The Lost, The Stupid, & The Mummy
by DarkThoughts8899
Summary: Originally on my old account BetterThings2Do28, I wanted to edit it and repost it, but I couldn't remember my password, so it's here. Anyway, just read it, it's pretty funny.
1. Chapter 1

The Lost, The Stupid, & The Mummy

ByDarkThoughts8899

Chapter One: The Lost

Disclaimer: I don't own "The Mummy" or it's characters. My characters Kaylee, Amber,and Naylor are mine so if you want to take their names...knock your self out...jerks!

A/N: This was from my old account that for the love of everything... I cannot remember the password. I'm really Kaylee and I REALLY wrote this 4 years ago. Good times. I owed it to all my new and old friends to edit and fix a few things.

"We're so lost!"

"Hey Amber, Newsflash: We're not lost! We just got turned around..and separated from the tour guide, that's all." Kaylee said referring to her map again.

"We're lost." Naylor pointed out.

"Told you not to stop and take pictures of that book-thingy." Amber said accusingly.

"That 'book-thingy' was the book of the dead! It's a very important historical artifact." Kaylee shot a disapproving glare at Amber who had rolled her eyes.

"Can't you just go home and read about it in one of your millions of Egyptian books?" Naylor said with a sigh and sat down on a nearby bench.

"Because, my books at home only have pictures of the book. I needed to see it for real!" Kaylee snapped. Kaylee studying Ancient Civilizations for college had dragged her two best friends Naylor and Amber to London's Museum to see it before it was moved some where else.

"Right, so we're lost in a museum in the middle of the night, surrounded by a bunch of wrapped up dead dudes, a ton of these weird picture word thingies, and some old book. Did I miss anything?" Amber said sarcastically.

"First off, We're not lost. Secondly, they're called mummies. Thirdly, they're called Hieroglyphics. Lastly, it's called 'The Book of the Dead'!" Kaylee said quickly losing her temper.

"Right, what else could go wrong?" Amber sighed.

"The museum is now closed." A voice said over the intercom.

"What have I told you about saying that while we're on vacation!" Naylor snapped.

"My bad." Amber whispered. "Now what? I don't think breaking and entering was on our to do list."

"Don't panic, we just need to go and find a security guard to let us out." Kaylee said pulling out a flashlight from her purse when the lights flickered off.

"That's the first good idea you've had all night." Amber said taking another flashlight from Kaylee's purse.

"Hey, what else you got in that purse?" Naylor asked.

"A girl never reveals the contents of her purse, except to other girls." Kaylee whispered as the walked along the dark corridor. Kaylee froze, "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Naylor whispered.

"No wait, I hear something too." Amber whispered as well.

"You hear it too?" Kaylee asked hopefully.

"It sounds like...like BORDEM!" Amber giggled.

"Not funny." Kaylee hissed. "I really hear something."

"Actually, it was a little funny." Naylor laughed, but then slowed his walk to a creep. "I do hear something. It sounds like chanting."

"Or meditating...where's that coming from?" Amber whispered.

"This way." Kaylee whispered, "Let's go check it out."

"Kaylee, wait, I have a really bad feeling about this. What if it's something bad?" Amber begged.

"Oh, come on, amber. What's the worst that could happen?" Naylor whispered.

"You said not to say that! Cause it always goes bad when we say that!" Amber snapped.

"It's coming from over here. This way you two." Kaylee said.

"I don't wanna hear it when the shit hits the fan from either of you." Amber hissed.

The trio turned a corner and saw a strange glow coming from the balcony which over looked the courtyard. "That wasn't like that durning the tour." Kaylee whispered. "The chanting is coming from down there. Let's go check it out."

"Kaylee, maybe Amber's right. This has 'slasher flick' written all over it." Naylor said cautiously.

"Chickens, we're just taking a peek."

"Wasn't that in a movie somewhere? Kaylee, get back here!" Amber demanded quietly.

Kaylee snuck through the shadows and took a peek around the corner of a pillar. "Whoa..."

"What? Kaylee, what's going on down there?" Amber whispered from the shadows.

"You've got to see this." Kaylee said.

Amber appeared at Kaylee's side and peeked over her shoulder, "What are they doing?"

Down in the courtyard below them was a group of guys bowing and chanting around a funcky looking rock. Torches light the courtyard and gave it an eerie glow to top it off. "Naylor, get over here and check this out."

"What are they saying?" Naylor whispered once he reached the pillar next to them.

"It's Egyptian, but I can't make it out." Kaylee hummed.

"Look!" Amber said ducking out of sight for a moment into the shadows. "Is that lady alive?"

"What lady?" Kaylee asked, but her question was answered when a lady in a black dress was carried out on a table. She was either dead or unconscious and tied up, which mostly meant...the shit had finally hit the fan.

"Naylor, toss me you're phone." Kaylee whispered.

"Why?" He said tossing it in the air to her.

She barely caught it and took a deep sigh of relief when it was safely in her hand. "Who taught you how to throw? I'm calling the cops. This crazy cult stuff is getting weird." She tired to dial the number, but to her utter disappointment there was no signal. "Shit, no signal."

"We've got to call the police!" Amber said. "There has to be a phone around here somewhere."

"Look, over there!" Kaylee pointed across the courtyard. There was an emergency phone box behind some crates out of sight from the worshipers.

"ARE YOU CRAZY! Me? Go down there?" Naylor stammered. "You've gone completely crazy, Kaylee."

"You're always saying how Ninja you are. So prove it!" Kaylee said.

"Fine, but if I die. I swear I'm coming back to get you both." Naylor said before checking if the coast was clear before jumping down to the lower level. He ducked just before to guards walked past.

"Oh, he'll come back for us no matter what." Amber said lovingly.

"Amber, I think he meant...'GET' us." She said moving her finger across her throat.

Amber's face drained of a couple shades of color and turned back into the shadows. She bumped into something. "Ow...what the hell?" She flicked on her flashlight and came face to face with a dark haired man with tattoos on his face. She open her mouth to scream, but he covered her mouth quickly with his hand. The strength he possessed forced her backwards onto her back and out of the shadows. Kaylee's horror stricken face came into view. She angerly stepped forward to punch him, but the stranger was quicker. He grabbed her wrist and twisted hard, causing her to drop to her knees.

"Silence you two." He whispered harshly.

"Let go of us," Kaylee growled. "We've done nothing wrong."

"Shh.." He snapped.

"You did not just 'Shh' me!" Kaylee growled as he released her wrist and uncovered Amber's mouth. She was rubbing her wrist when she noticed his gun. "Are you the security guard?"

The stranger glared at them before saying, "What, no. Who are you two and what are you doing here?"

"My name is Kaylee and this is my friend Amber." Kaylee said.

"Who you so rudely attacked!" Amber growled.

"My apologies, but you two are in grave danger if you stay here a moment longer." he said.

"We're not leaving without...Naylor!"

Naylor has reappeared beside the stranger with a heavy statue raised like a weapon above the stranger's head. "Girls, get behind me. Who are you?"

"Naylor, it's okay. He's a good guy...I think." Amber said. "Are you a good guy." She whispered scooting closer to Naylor.

"As good as you'll meet." he said shifting his weapon to his hip and held out his hand to Amber. "My name is Ardeth Bay, I am a descendant of the Meji warriors, here to protect mankind from that." He pointed to the strange rock the group seemed to be worshiping.

"A rock?" Amber asked.

"Right," Ardeth whispered, "That is no rock, my oblivious friends. That contains the body of the high priest Imhotep."

"Ew." Kaylee and Amber said together.

"So, what are they doing?" Asked Naylor.

"They're trying to bring him back to life."

"Okay," Amber said calmly. " This shit just got weird."

"Hold your horses," Naylor said. "It looks like it might just get weirder."


	2. Chapter 2

The Lost, The Stupid, & The Mummy

By DarkThoughts8899

Chapter Two: Shit Hits The Fan

Indeed, things were only just about to get weirder. The head worshiper started yelling something in Egyptian and the rock containing said high priest Imhotep began to shake violently.

"Oh this can't be good." Ardeth whispered.

"You think?" Kaylee gasped.

The rock exploded from within and a living, walking mummy burst forth from it. He looked around angerly at everyone and demanded something from the head worshiper.

"What'd he say?" Naylor whispered.

"What year is this?" Kaylee and Ardeth said at the same time. Ardeth looked at Kaylee impressively. "You speak Egyptian? Very impressive."

Kaylee blushed at his compliment, "Yes, thank-you."

"Hey guys, sit and have coffee another time, what's going on now?" Amber said frantically.

"Whoa, who's that?" Naylor gasped.

A dark hair women walked right up to Imhotep and started talking to him.

"Anuck-su-naumn? Why is she just standing there?" Kaylee asked Ardeth.

"She's been reincarnated. He's going to bring her soul back from the Underworld."

"So, she seems nice." Naylor said thoughtfully.

"Oh yes, nice as an Egyptian asp." Ardeth said with a arched brow.

"I see," Amber said. "What's an asp?" Amber whispered to Kaylee.

"A poisonous snake." Kaylee said rolling her eyes.

"Oh," Amber said to Kaylee. "I don't think I like her." Amber said to Ardeth.

"Well that's the opposite being said for our dead buddy down there. He seems quiet fond of her." Naylor said.

"So I'm going to take two wild guesses here. One, she's his sister or something sweet like that or she's his long lost girlfriend." Kaylee pointed out.

"We're going to go with the girlfriend thing." Ardeth said.

"I see, this is so weird." Amber said.

"So what's her story?" Naylor inquired.

"No time, looks like Evalyn is going to need some help. Can you fire a weapon?" Ardeth asked pulling out a couple hand guns.

"Yes...wait...who?" Amber said taking the hand gun gently.

"The lady! Of course, is she still alright?" Kaylee said slowly peeking around the corner as not to be seen.

"Who's that?" Amber said slowly. A blond haired male version of Lara Croft appeared behind some crates.

"That's my friend Rick O'Connel and that's his wife, Evalyn." Ardeth silently signaled him. He looked up and saw Ardeth, then nodded. then Amber appeared next to Ardeth and waved stupidly. Rick raised an eyebrow and mouthed the words, "Who's that?"

Ardeth rolled his eyes and made a circle in the air, Rick slowly looked around the courtyard to see two other people with weapons in hand. They smiled and nodded to show Rick they were on his side. Rick nodded and proceeded to rescue Evalyn.

"I'll send you to your grave again." Evalyn threatened.

Imhotep grinned and hooked a decaying arm around Anuck-su-naumn. Evalyn was carried over to a burning sarcophagus and Kaylee quickly understood what was going to happen if they didn't act quickly.

"Stop!" She screamed loudly in Egyption. Everything grew silent and everyone turned to face her.

"Idiot!" Naylor said smacking his head with his fist.

Imhotep released Anuck-su-naumn and took a couple steps towards her. "Who are you?" He asked in Egyptian.

"I-I. Shit." She said in English. Imhotep chuckled and this just made Kaylee mad. "I'm Khepri!" She seemed to blurt out in Egyptian. Kaylee was suprised she had remembered so much Egyptian.

"What is she doing?" Naylor whispered to Ardeth.

"I don't know, but she's distracting him." Ardeth whispered back.

" Khepri is it?" Imhotep asked taking a couple more steps towards her as if to get a better look at her. His eyes widened, "It is you."

Kaylee was speechless and that was a good enough signal for Amber to start shooting like crazy. Naylor and Ardeth joined the fight as Amber took out the guards surrounding Anuck-su-naumn. She screamed for Imhotep and this took enough of his attention for Naylor to grab her hand. "Kaylee, what did think you were doing? You could've gotten hurt."

"I know." Kaylee whispered. "But, I don't think he would."

"What are you talking about? He's a mummy! How do you know what his intentions are?"

"I don't know." Kaylee whispered.

"Let's get out of here!" Ardeth shouted. He looked at Amber and then at some large crates of liquid explosives. "Hey Amber, what big crates they have!"

Amber took aim and yelled, "All the better to blow them up with!" She rittled the crates with hot lead and the exploded into a brilliant explosion, causing everyone fall foreward alittle bit. That is except for Imhotep, who looked around for Kaylee. He spotted her running along side Naylor. He grabbed a large vase and poured out ashes of some kind.

"Hello," Rick said running up the stairs with Evalyn in hand. "That was some nice shootin'."

"No problem." Amber winked.

Just then Naylor ran up with Kaylee, "Glad to see you're safe ma'am."

Evalyn stared at Kaylee, "Thanks for distracting them."

"That's what I'm here for...grade A distraction material." Kaylee smiled weakly.

Evalyn kept staring at her and Rick didn't seem to notice, "Not these guys again!" Several scary looking guard guys materialized from the ash Imhotep had thrown into the air.

"Is it running time?" Naylor asked calmly.

"Oh yeah." Rick said dragging Evalyn off with him.

Kaylee stared at Imhotep as if there was something to say to him. "Kaylee! Didn't you hear Stud O'Pants said? It's running time!" Amber said grabbing Kaylee's hand.

"So is now the time for explaining?" Naylor inquired.

"Not yet, when we get somewhere safe." Ardeth said. "Amber what are you doing?"

"Besides, saving Kaylee from one of her brain farts..." Amber said grabbing a bench and pulling it in front of the front doors of the Museum. "I'm slowing them down."

Naylor sighed and ran up to her, "Amber, I don't think these guys use doors."

"Where's Jonathan?" Rick demanded looking around.

"Who?" Kaylee asked.

"Hello!" A voice came from a parked double-decker bus.

"Mom!" A little blond haired boy screamed from an open window.

"Alex!" Evalyn cried running inside to hug him.

"What's the matter with my car?" Rick asked the one named Johnathan.

"I was forced to find a better source of transportation."

"A DOUBLE-DECKER BUS!" Kaylee shouted

"My thoughts exactly." Rick said with a smile.

"Who are you?" Jonathan snickered.

"There's no time for that, is there? Now get us out of here!"

"Great, more bossy Americans." Jonathan whispered as he drove off.

"I heard that Jonathan!" Rick shouted.


	3. Chapter 3

The Lost, The Stupid, & The Mummy

By DarkThought8899

Chapter Three: You Thought It!

AlexiaGeminiPotter: Of course I gave you a gun silly, what kind of hero would you be without one!

"Hello, I'm Amber and we just saved your mum." Amber said holding out her hand to Alex, who took it great fully.

"Alex. Thanks a million for rescuing her." Alex said genuinely.

"It was nothing. If it wasn't for Kaylee and her obsession with that place, we never would have met you guys."

Alex frowned, "I'm sorry."

"Why, I didn't mean it in a bad way." Amber waved her hand in the air nonchalantly, "I love a good adventure. It's not your fault."

Alex gave a uneasy glance around. "Right."

"Besides, it wasn't like you caused your mom to get kidnapped and almost toasted like a marshmallow."

"Um...I'm going to see how Uncle Jon's doing." Alex said quickly.

"Okay, bye." Amber said curiously. Then turned to Rick. "He's cute."

"Oh, thanks." Rick said looking out the back of the bus for danger.

"He's very handsome...like his father." Amber said.

"Th-" Rick turned around to stare at Amber. "Thank-you."

Amber blushed and quickly said, "I better go see how Evelyn's doing."

She's cute. Rick thought to himself before Naylor snapped him back to the current situation. "Hey we've got company!" Sure enough, four mummy guards came bursting through the way of the museum and started after the double-decker bus. "I told you they don't use doors Amber!"

"Well, excuse me!" Amber shot up to the second level where Naylor was taking aim at the pursuing mummies.

"You're excused." Naylor snapped back, before shooting at one. The bullet hit it's target with the greatest of ease. "Got him!"

But no sooner then he said those words, did that mummy get back to it's feet and start running again. "I think he's okay!" Amber shot mockingly to Naylor.

And before he could stop him self, "Well, excuse me Ms. Smartypants."

She looked up the staircase at him with a smirk on her face, "You're excused."

"You walked into that one." Rick had to admit.

"Hey, mummy at three o'clock." Naylor yelled.

Rick shot the attacking mummy and left him in pieces. He smiled at Amber, which was weird, cause he meant to smile at Evelyn. Suddenly there was a loud bang from the second level. "Naylor?"

"A little help guys!" Naylor shouted.

Amber rushed fore ward, but Rick caught her by the arm, "Stay here. I'll get him." And with that Rick disappeared upstairs to help out Naylor. Amber blushed as she turned around to face the others.

"Amber, look out!" Kaylee screamed.

The mummy that Rick had shot was just a severed torso now and was trying to drag Amber off the speeding bus. "Get off me!" She shrieked. Ardeth grabbed his machete and tried to slash at it's fleshy fingers without hitting Amber. Which was proving to be more difficult then it seemed. His seemed to have a death grip on Amber's ankle. So Ardeth did the only thing he could think of, with once quick swipe he cute off the mummy's arm. It's screaming body slid off the bus platform and rolled to a stop in the middle of the street.

"Ardeth, get it off me!" Amber begged. The mummy's wrist and hand had her ankle still in it's grasp.

Ardeth pried the fingers off her ankle and held the severed hand in his. "That wasn't so bad." Suddenly the fingers grew extremely long and sharp fingernails and swiped at Ardeth's chest. He screamed in pain as Kaylee ran over and threw the hand out the window.

"That doesn't count, he didn't say it couldn't get any worse!" Amber growled.

"Amber, he's hurt!" Evelyn screamed. "Rick!"

"Amber, go and help with Naylor." Kaylee whispered as she put pressure on his wound.

Amber nodded and dashed up to the second floor, to see the scene that had unfolded. The mummy had broken through the roof and tackled Rick. Naylor was on the mummy's back hitting it repeating with the butt of his gun. "Hey guys? Need a hand?" She shouted over the commotion.

"Nope." Rick grunted.

"We've got it!" Naylor said bashing in the mummy's fleshy skull.

"Are you sure?" Amber asked slightly unconvinced.

"Absolutely." They said together.

Amber nodded and headed back down to the lower level. "They don't need my help."

"Amber? What do you mean?" Kaylee demanded.

"They said they don't need my help." Amber repeated. "They're tough guys. What could go wrong?"

"No Amber!" Kaylee said pushing down on Ardeth's wound a little harder then necessary.

"Ow..." Ardeth whimpered.

"Sorry!" Kaylee cooed.

"Heads up, Rick!" Jonathan shouted.

Everyone turned to the front of the bus to see a low tunnel approaching. Amber gasped realizing what she had said and dashed back up to the second level. "Naylor, Rick! Get down!"

Naylor was on the ground first, but Amber suddenly got the deer in the headlight look and Rick jumped on her as the roof of the bus was tore off along with the unprepared mummy.

"Oh, my God! Amber!" Kaylee screamed getting to her feet. She rushed to the staircase and looked up to see Amber under Ricks' protective body. "Thank God."

"You're telling me." Amber said breathlessly. "Rick you saved me."

"You're welcome." He said softly.

"I'm okay too, just so you know." Naylor said somewhere from the wreckage.

"I'm glad to hear it Naylor!" Amber said with a giggle. "Um, Rick. You can get off me now."

He blushed, "I wish I could. But I'm pinned under these stupid chairs."

Amber blushed even harder then he did, "Oh, I...see. Um, Kaylee!"

"What?" Kaylee reappeared at the bottom of the staircase. "Hey, Rick. You saved her, good for you. Now get off her."

"I can't." He said rolling his eyes.

"Um, okay. I'll just leave you two..." Kaylee said slowly turning around.

"Kaylee! We're stuck!" Amber clarified.

"Oh, well why didn't you just say so?"

"Hello, I'm stuck too!" Naylor shouted.

"Okay, we're going to stop in a second and we'll get you all unstuck." Kaylee winked.

The bus slowed to a stop on a nearby bridge and everyone assessed the damage. Kaylee and Alex stood outside the bus admiring the battle wounds they received...which was equivalent to a couple scraps and bruises. "How's it going mom?" Alex called.

"You're father's almost unstuck." Evelyn said over her shoulder.

Kaylee sighed and stretched her arms over her head, "Well this has been some vacation."

"I have a feeling we're not out of this yet." Alex whispered.

"Oh come on, Alex. What's the-" Kaylee started.

"DON'T!" Amber screamed.

"Oh yeah, sorry." Kaylee said apologetically. She smiled at the chuckling Alex. "Well you know."

Suddenly someone appeared from out of the shadows and snatched Alex's shoulder. "Let me go! Mom!"

"Alex!" Evelyn screamed.

"Get your hands off him!" Kaylee shouted pulling on one of the worshipers sleeve. "Alex!"

"Kaylee!" Amber yelled when a second worshiper appeared and struck Kaylee over the head. He drug her away with Alex into a near-by car. Amber squirmed under Rick's muscular body as he tried to do the same. But the way the chairs were crumpled, it was going to be nearly impossible for them to get out.

"Alex!" Evelyn shouted as she desperately ran after the car.

"No, Kaylee!" Amber screamed. Her eyes filled with tears as her body went limp with exhaustion. "What now?"

Rick was speechless, for so many reasons other then the sudden kidnapping of Alex and Kaylee.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Kisses From The Past and Future

"Kaylee, wake up! Please, wake up!" Alex whispered.

Kaylee groaned from the recent concussion inflicted by her soon to become punching bag. "Alex, where are we?"

"Still in London. For now that is." A evil voice whispered from the darkness.

"Anuck-su-naumn I assume." Kaylee said through gritted teeth. "Don't you have a small animal to kick or torture?"

She stepped out of the shadows looking just as evil as they had left her. "Ha, that was funny, I almost forgot to laugh."

"Almost," Kaylee grinned. "Where's your lap dog?"

She closed the distance between Kaylee and herself quickly. She held a knife to her throat and hissed, "That is not your concern. It never was, why did you get involved?"

"I may have not needed to get involved, but it would've been wrong not to get involved. Besides, this vacation was lacking it's excitement."

Anuck-su-naumn chuckled and pressed the blade closer, "You'll be sorry you got into this. Imhotep has no use for you, nothing...don't you see?"

"Then why did he send you to threaten me...not kill me." Kaylee raised an eyebrow. "Do it, slit my throat, you're boy-toy won't be too happy with you, will he?"

She growled, "I don't know what his plan is for you, but mark my words. It won't be pretty."

"Oh, not as pretty as you?" Alex pouted.

"Silence!" She snapped. "You're the one we meant to take anyway and I plan on interrogating you first."

"Oooh, I'm sooo scared." Alex mocked. "I've dealt with babysitters twice as scary as you and just as ugly."

Anuck-su-naumn huffed and turned to the door, "Hey, ask Imhotep for a couple juice boxes and gram crackers."

"Yes, and don't forget my nap time is in ten minutes." Alex added salt to the wound.

Anuck-su-naumn turned and took a dangerous step towards them, knife drawn. "What are you doing?"

She froze and sighed. "Nothing, my love." She hissed in Egyptian

Imhotep appeared at her side, still slightly mummy-ish. Patches of skin covered his face and body. Kaylee noted to herself, if he wasn't the bad guy and still half...dead...he'd look pretty appealing. He apparently caught her gaze drifting along his body and took this to his advantage. "Take the boy." He growled to Anuck-su-namun, who obeyed immediately.

"Don't hurt him!" Kaylee snapped at them in Egyptian.

Imhotep replied with a grin, "The boy is far more valuable," He motioned them away. Once they were gone he continued, but not in Egyptian...in English. "Unlike you."

Slightly taken aback by the sudden change in language Kaylee shook her head gently. "Then why don't you just get it over and done with."

He arched a patch of skin which she recognized as his eyebrow. "You don't even know what I have planned for you."

"I don't care, it's better then spending another moment here with you!" Kaylee glared at him, which was surprisingly hard. He was all...blurry. It was then Kaylee realized she was crying. Hot tears trickled down her cheeks.

He made a sympathetic face and walked over to her side. "Who has jaded you so, my dear?" He ran a bony hand down her cheek, which she immediately winced at his touch. "So much hate for someone I've only met a few hours ago."

Kaylee couldn't figure it out either, why did she hate him so much. The sound of his voice made her want to scream and his touch made her sick to her stomach. None of these reasons seemed to have anything to do with the fact her was a walking, talking corpse. "Why don't you go bugger off and grow some more skin."

He frowned and let a teardrop drip across his fingers. " We will continue this chat later."

"Super." Kaylee groaned. "I'll be waiting."

"Indeed," Imhotep whispered.

The group searched everywhere, until it was too exhausting for some. Evalyn and Amber had already fallen asleep in the back of the taxi the moment they left for the O'Connel mansion.

"Thanks for everything, Rick." Naylor said looking around one of many spare bedrooms.

"No, thank-you. All of you. If it wasn't for you, Evalyn wouldn't be around."

"Yeah, alot of good we turned out to be. We got Ardeth hurt, Kaylee and Alex kidnapped, and Amber thinking this was all her fault." Naylor sighed. "Which reminds me, I should go check if she's okay."

"No, it's alright. I'll go check, it's on my way." Rick said.

"Well, if you're sure." Naylor yawned. His head hit the pillow and he was out like a light.

Rick smiled and clicked off Naylor's light. He slowly closed the bedroom door and walked up the next flight of stairs to Amber's bedroom. Once he reached it, he was shocked to find Amber wasn't there. "Amber?" he burst into the bedroom. He heard a splosh coming from the bathroom. He pulled out his gun and pushed open the door.

"Oh, hello, Rick." Amber said lazily. She was in the bathtub up to her collarbone with bubbles. To make matters worse, she clothes were strune across the bathroom floor and a half empty bottle of whiskey sat next to her red lacey bra.

"Amber," Rick said turning around slightly. "are you drunk?"

Amber giggled, "No. Okay, maybe just a little bit. Why are you turned around? You're not embarrassed are you?"

Rick didn't know how to answer this question. So he slowly turned around to find Amber with her arms crossed on the edge of the bathtub, still perfectly covered by bubbles. "I thought something happened to you."

Amber's eyes widened, "Oh, Rick." She sighed dreamily. She slid under the mountain of bubbles with a little giggle.

Rick panicked. He didn't know how much water she had put in there and how much of it was bubbles. "Amber," She said diving his hands into the bubbles to retrieve Amber. He luckily got her by the shoulders and pulled her above the bubbles. "Amber, I think it's time you went to bed."

Amber pouted and threw her bubbly arms around Rick's neck, "I think you should show me to my room."

Rick froze, He body tightened knowing only a inch of bubbly protection separated her bare skin from his body. She started to snore in Ricks arms and he had no other choice. He moved one arm under her butt and lifted her out of the bathtub and into the adjacent bedroom.

"Thank-you, Rick." She hummed when he laid her under the soft covers of her bed. She unwrapped her arms from around Rick and drifted off into sleep. he watched her sleep for a moment or two before slowly walking toward the hall way. "Rick." She hummed again.

"Yes?" He whispered back.

She sat up, covers drawn over her bare chest. "A good-night kiss, for my hero."

He bit his lip and said, "Good-night Amber." She still sat there, waiting. So, he sighed and walked over and sat on the edge of the bed in front of her. She placed a hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his. She pulled back after a moment and laid back down into peaceful sleep.

Rick licked his lips on his way out, the kiss was warm and intoxicating. Either it was the whiskey or this was not good at all.

"Oh goodie, my favorite capture is here." Kaylee said once Imhotep had returned, looking normal. Well as much as a mummy could look. he had skin now and the deepest green eyes Kaylee had ever seen. But no matter what he did she wasn't going to crack. Nothing could break her...NOTHING! "Oh, look. You've got skin. Where'd you get it Wal-Mart."

He stared at her in amazement, "Always with the jokes."

"What are you talking about?" Kaylee snapped standing up to fae him. Damn he was tall, at least six inches taller, but htis didn't dicourage Kaylee.

"You where always about the jokes and I can't believe it's taken this long to recognize you."

"Mummy guy say what?" Kaylee said crossing her arms over her chest.

Before she could say another word, he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her deeply. Blood rushed to every part of skin he was touching. He lips tightened, her lower back arched, and her hands burned to touch him. Her mind was racing, racing with memories or thoughts perhaps. But suddenly something deep and primal took over and she couldn't help it...she tilted her head back and screamed his name. He bit her neck and moved down to her shoulder. "Oh Khepri, is it really you?"

Whether is was because she actually knew the answer to his question or she just didn't want him to stop, she clawed his back and moaned into his ear, "I am here."


	5. Chapter 5

The Lost. The Stupid, & The Mummy

By DarkThought7788

Chapter Five: Exploring The Past (Remake)

A/N: I've decide that at three o'clock in the morning is not nearly enough time for me to be thinking clearly about what I'm writing. So my dearest fans...ignore the whole EX Chapter Five and read and love the longer and better Chapter Five.

"I don't understand." Kaylee whispered, gazing to his eyes.

He smiled, "What is there not to understand? You are the reincarnation of a girl who was in love with me back when I was a high priest."

"Wait a second, a moment ago you were in love with me." Kaylee said taking an angry step back.

"I am," He said with a smile. He took her hand and continued, "It's just that you followed me around like a love stuck puppy."

Kaylee scoffed, "Excuse me, Why would I follow you around? You're not that cute."

He chuckled, "Don't be mad, I liked it. It was cute." Imhotep frowned suddenly. "But then...something happened to you and you were gone."

"Something? Something like what?" Kaylee demanded. "Oh and I'm not cute!" She stomped.

"I wasn't there, but they say you fell off you bedroom balcony." He said touching her cheek. "You don't understand how nice it is to see your body again."

"Look here Mummy-boy, I'm not your ancient ex-crush and as far as I'm concerned you have no proof to back this ridiculous story up." Kaylee snapped.

"I may not be able to prove it, but you can." He pulled out a flask a bright green potion.

Kaylee took one look at it a sneered, "I'm not drinking that."

"Who said you were going to drink it?" He said with a grin. "If you drank one drop of this, you'd die."

"Okay, so then Mr. Genius, what am I supposed to do with it."

"Hold still." He commanded as he grabbed on to her waist.

"Let go of me." She screamed. He grabbed the back of her hair and forces her head back. He took out a blade and carved a symbol into her cheek. She screamed as the blood ran down her neck. Imhotep pulled out the elixir and dropped a couple drops onto the wound. The Kaylee was still. Her eyes widened and she hit her knees. The like a lifeless rag-doll she fell forward to the ground. "Go back in time to another life."

Kaylee's world exploded around her into bright blindling white light. Suddenly the light dimmed and she was surrounded by gold. She was on her knees and feeling dizzy, like after Amber's New Years party, but minus the beer. She slowly looked around and she was in the middle of a crowd and no one seemed to notice. She stood up weakly and sighed deeply to keep her from puking. Then she noticed Imhotep talking with a small group of children. Anger filled the pit of her stomach and she took several violent steps towards him."I'm gonna kill that son of a..."

"Imhotep!" A familiar voice squealed. Familiar as in it sounded exactly like her. She turned around just in time to see herself...running towards Imhotep gleefully. This was not normal, Kaylee felt warm numbing sensations scamper down her spine when Imhotep turned from the little kids just in time to catch Kaylee in his arms. Kaylee watched herself kiss him on the cheek and showed no sign of disgust what so ever. The little kids giggling broke them out of the foolish display of affection.

" Khepri, what are you doing here?" Imhotep whispered. "I thought you were supposed to be in the practice chamber with your sister."

This Khepri girl blushed and hugged him gently, "I wanted to see you."

Kaylee was definatly going to puke soon. "This is too much...I would never say any of this."

" Khepri," Imhotep sighed, "You can't just run up to me in the middle of a lesson. The children might something to your father."

"Oh nonsense," She winked. "Right guys?"

"Does father know your kissing his high priest?" A small dark haired girl stood up.

"Nella, what daddy doesn't know..." Khepri said.

"Could destroy this empire, Khepri. You can't be this foolish not to see that." Imhotep said.

"Oh come on Imhotep, What could go wrong?" Khepri asked before kissing him again.

"Oh crap, I knew that had to start somewhere." Kaylee shook her head regrettably.

" Khepri, did you bring us anything?" The girl named Nella whined.

"Maybe, are you going to tell daddy if I snag Imhotep away for a second?"

"No." The children said in harmony.

"Well, maybe these sweets will do?" She held out a bag of sweet goodies.

"Yea!" The children all screamed grabbing for the bag.

Imhotep scooped Khepri out of the mayhem and into his arms. "Okay, so you've got me. Where are we going?"

Khepri giggled and kissed his bald head. "This way." She said scrambling out of his arms. She took his hand and led him down a staircase and down a narrow alley. Kaylee had to sprint just to keep up with the two lovers.

"When did I get so fast?" Kaylee huffed when they finally stopped at the water's edge of the Nile. Khepri plopped her self down beside some cat-tails and Imhotep by her side.

"What are we doing here?" Imhotep asked.

"Waiting. The sun sets in a couple minutes." Khepri sighed as she scooted into his arms.

" Khepri, the ceremony starts at sun set." Imhotep complained, "You'll get us both in trouble."

"My father never keeps track of time." She said curling up into his lap. "Just hold me a little while longer."

Imhotep smiled and Kaylee knew it had to be true. He was in love with her and she was madly in love with him. "Great, I really am in love with him or was or am...This doesn't mean anything now!"

Khepri looked up into Imhotep's eyes as the sun exploded into twilight around them. She placed her hand on his cheek and placed her lips on to his. Wow, the way he kissed her back made Kaylee semi-miss being in his newer presence. He cupped the back of her neck to deepen the kiss. Khepri wasn't to bad her self and it became clear why Kaylee was without a doubt some part of Khepri. Khepri nipped Imhotep's bottom lip, just like Kaylee would do given the current situation.

" Khepri, no biting. That hurts." Imhotep cooed.

"Oh... but now I get to kiss it and make it better." Khepri said kissing him several times in short sweet patterns.

"Ture." Imhotep smiled each time her lips met his. "It's time to go."

Khepri sighed and placed a hand on his muscular chest. "I know...and those goodies won't last forever."

"You know one thing that will?" He tilted her head to met his eyes.

Khepri smiled, "What's that?"

"This," Imhotep smiled, then kissed her. "Forever."

Khepri giggled and wriggled out off his lap, "Forever may not be long enough." She joked.

Kaylee shook her head and got to her feet to follow them, but froze. The bright light was back again and she was pulled back into her time period with only the littlest of information about who she was.


End file.
